Friday, October 2, 2009

General McCrystal - Barack Obama Phone Call (Satire)



Humor courtesy of: http://my.auburnjournal.com/detail/131098.html


Ring... Ring... Ring...

Barack Obama: Hello, what do you want me to do and when do you need it done?

Gen McCrystal: President Obama, this is General McCrystal and since we have not been able to meet in person, I felt it was imperative that I call you immediately.

Barack Obama: General McCrystal? Oh, I thought it was George Soros. Who gave you this number?

Gen McCrystal: Actually sir, Secretary Gates gave me the number when I told him how urgent the situation in Afghanistan is. We have an urgent need for reinforcements and we cannot wait much longer. I know that you stated only months ago that "the war in Afghanistan is one we must win". I am here to help you.

Barack Obama: Oh ya...Afghanistan...well, we are going to review the strategy there. We are not sure that its a war we must win any more.

Gen McCrystal: But sir, our troops are here! They are on the ground. They are being killed as we speak. We are depending on you for support. Every day that you delay in providing additional troops, American lives are lost. We are in the fight, you cannot change your mind now!

Barack Obama: Well, General McConnell, I have many important things to deal with right now. We must cut Medicare and that is irritating the old folks. We must get government health care installed and pushing it through congress is a real hassle because the stupid people are falling for lies and mis-information. We have terrorists trying to blow up train stations and their lawyers are pulling all sorts of tricks to get them off on bail.. its a tough job here at the white house. And most importantly, we have to get the Olympics in Chicago. The SEIU is looking at 50,000 jobs from that gig and they are depending on me.

Gen McCrystal: But sir, our troops are depending on you. You cannot simply fly off to Copenhagen, schmooze with the Europeans, and ignore the death of our troops can you?

Barack Obama: Which part of 50,000 union jobs did you not understand? Look General McCarren, this phone is not for anyone to use. I am expecting a call from George Soros any minute. We are trying to figure out how to move the international monetary system away from dollars to a new currency which he just happens to have some inside tracks on.

Barack Obama: Tell you what, I will try to get my new strategy on Afghanistan figured out sometime in September...no, wait, that's right, now its December.... I will call you right after I push through the Iranian sanctions.. OK?

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